“And I was like, ‘James, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re a vampire. I mean, I couldn’t have a vampire at my party. Bella was going to be there. I mean, right? He was a vampire! So then his mom called my mom and started yelling at her. Totally retarded. Then he dropped out because no one would talk to him. Then he came back in the fall to track Bella. All his hair was really long and he was totally weird. Now I guess he’s on blood.’”